WHAT IS THE EGO? The Ego is formed by our conditioning, our patterns, our stories, our environment. Our Ego is a storyteller that doesn’t tell the Truth. It makes you judge and label things. It makes you fall in love with your own ideas. But we also need a healthy dose of Ego to not get bullied, to motivate us, to remind us who we are, what are priorities are.
Unfortunately, the Western dominant culture feeds our Ego to the extent that it is sometimes problematic in our interaction with others. The different role models, images and values that it offers make us compete with each other, they make us feel like we’re never enough and need to inflate our self importance to compare to other “successful” people and do “significant” work to feel valued and loved.
In response to this inflation, we need to protect ourselves: setting boundaries and learning how to deal with other people’s big Ego when it aim to compete with us, threatens us, judges us, etc. Indeed, although it is also important to honor other people’s journey, to learn from them by seeing them as reflection of ourselves and doing our own work, is it equally important to be able to give feedback when people cross the line with your own values and integrity.
Furthermore, when someone is stepping on our boundary (e.g. disrespecting you or others), we have a certain responsibility to question their actions and words because when we fail to speak out by fear of being uncomfortable or making others uncomfortable, when we fail to stand up for ourselves, to keep our stand and integrity, we give our power away, we lower our vibration, we start to devalue ourselves, our self-worth and give others priority over us.
Giving others feedback doesn't have to be a battle. We can do so, for example, by asking them why they act the way they do and try to figure out where are they coming from. Sometimes this in itself is enough for them to change their perspective and bring to light something that they didn't see earlier. Furthermore, coming from a compassionate and loving place, trying to understand instead of condemning and judging seem to be the most effective way to give a feedback that will be received.
Of course such a diplomatic response can be difficult when we are facing someone that is very angry for example, but this is a healthy challenge to test the outcome of your spiritual work: the more we meditate and learn to be with what is instead of trying to control, the more we are able to cope with difficult situations in a way that is not feeding aggressivity, competition and judgement. Responding instead of reacting to challenges.
A fair dose of lightness is also sometimes necessary in order to not let other people's Ego affect yours. For, realistically they cannot hurt you (except physically which is a different story) unless you let them do so.
In the same way that you can negotiate the impact of other people’s Ego on yourself, you can give your own Ego the same treatment: questioning it, listening and not taking it too seriously.
Eventually, we all need to learn to dance among all of these Egos around us and with our own; learning to accept the ups and downs, the unexpected; becoming used to not being in control, not knowing, yet being ready to face whatever the Universe has in store for us.
This is the Great Teachings of the Feminine that is inherently connected to the Cycles of Nature: embracing both, life and death, positive and negative emotions and feelings. Doing deep work to find these ups and downs within and hold space for other’s ups and down.
Like the Princess of Swords, like Kali, cutting through the illusion to reveal the Truth, as hard as it is for us and others and ourselves to hear. And seeing more and more Truth being revealed every day as we remind ourselves to do this work, to be authentic and wholesome.
No comments:
Post a Comment